The day you were born, my world was forever changed. And not even for a moment, can I picture a single day without you. I couldn't possibly begin to put into words just how much I love you - I know we say "to the moon and back" but it is so, so much more than that. It's a love that people had always described but I never fully understood. That is, until I had you. You, were my saving grace. You have brought so much love, joy and laughter into this world that I didn't think was possible until I became your Mom. Even in my weak moments of stress or frustration, in the times when I am quick to react and yell more often than I realize, please do not doubt for a second that I love you any less. There is absolutely nothing in this world that could ever change that.
I wish I had this whole "Mom-Thing" figured out perfectly, and that I had the answers to everything, but reality is - I don't. None of us do. I have spent countless times laying in bed re-playing the day, thinking about all the moments when I should have had more patience. When I should have been more prepared instead of rushing us out of the house. When I should have put the phone down and been more present, to be more willing to play the 28th round of hide and seek. Things that you may not even catch on to, that hurt my heart because I know how valuable you are and how precious time is. I know that you deserve the whole world and the entire universe. You deserve a Mom who never gets tired, who never gets angry, who always holds it together and I promise I will never stop trying to be better. I try my very best every.single.day, even though sometimes I fall short.
Every day is a new day for me to do better than the day before and if there is one thing you take away from these times, I hope you remember all the extra hugs and kisses that followed - The ability to know when an apology is needed and the power of forgiveness. I hope you learn to see the beauty in our imperfections and to know in the middle of our messes we are never alone. I pray to always be the first person you run to - to share in your excitement, to calm your fears, the first call you make whenever you're in trouble. To know at the end of the day, your Mama is your biggest fan.
I will never let you forget just how incredible you are. I will always remind you when it feels like the world is ending, that the sun will rise again in the morning. I know the saying "One Day" always feels so far away but it feels like just yesterday they were placing you in my arms for the very first time. One day, you won’t want me to hold your hand walking into school or to kiss your cheeks before you get on the bus. One day, my cheers of excitement at your achievements may be a little embarrassing - but I promise to do it anyways, because that’s what moms do. And one day, you will realize that all of the prayers that seemed to be tangled in worry and doubt were actually wrapped tightly in God’s grace. You will realize in the moments that though you were certain it was over, you were actually okay.
I may not be perfect but there is no one on this planet who loves you more than I do and I will make sure you never forget that. Being your mom is the greatest gift this world has to offer and one that I will never take for granted.
I love you for all that you are, all that you have been, and all that you are yet to be ♥
Love Always,
Mom xoxo
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