Well guys, we made it!
(barely)
2020 came, made history, and left us like a bad first date. This truthfully felt like the shortest yet longest year of my entire life. As we flip the calendars to a new year, I find myself still processing all that was thrown at us. It was ALOT. A lot of good, a lot of bad, a lot of reflection and a lot of realizing how much is out of our control.
I don’t consider myself a control freak (per say,) but I definitely like having a clear idea of what’s coming my way. And I think we can all agree, that certainly was not on the agenda for 2020. I learned that we have little control when looking at the big picture and tomorrow is not a guarantee. I know, I know we have all heard that an endless amount of times but for me, I really felt it this past year.
I lost people who were so incredibly special to me and to those I love. People who I lost touch with, whose friendships I once cherished but let life get in the way. Life slowed down a lot for most of us, and I found myself with more time to really reflect on my past, my present and where I see myself in the future.
"Sometimes we get so caught up in life that we forget that we don't always have to be busy; We don't always need to be checking our phones or rushing to the next thing. We need to remind ourselves that it's okay - and absolutely necessary - to slow it all down. To take a break and enjoy nature. To turn off the TV and simply be together. To enjoy a game of cards. To ask our kids what they're wondering about. To call our parents and grandparents. To watch the sunrise. To enjoy the smell of a burning candle. We must never forget to enjoy the little things because they are never as little as we think." - Nikki Banas
I’ve always been the person with a wish list that always stayed just that - wishful thinking. I would make a list of new year resolutions every year that held my commitment for a month at most, until I would get caught up in the everyday craziness of life forgetting they even existed. So this year, I am choosing a word. Something with meaning, that is motivating and something that I can really focus on and put into everything I do.
Intentionality
(in·ten·tion·al·i·ty)
noun
The fact of being deliberate or purposive
The quality of mental states (e.g., thoughts, beliefs, desires, hopes) that consists in their being directed toward some object or state of affairs.
I’ve had a “bucket list” on my phone for over 4 years, of places and things that might seem so mediocre to some people, but are special and meaningful to me in their own way. It wasn't until this past year, that I actually began crossing items off my list and man, it was so rewarding.
As someone who has struggled with anxiety, I’ve been the only person stopping myself from following through with new experiences. Thinking of all the what if’s, I have missed out on alot. But I’ll tell you, never once did I think “what if a world wide pandemic hits with a virus that cannot be stopped. What if the whole world shuts down, schools close, even the air we breathe is considered a risk?” Experiencing something this far out of my control, has really pushed me to set my fears aside and just do it. To book the trip, to try something new, to reconnect with old friends, to be intentional with my efforts and follow through with what I want to do.
"New Year, New Me?" Na, I am happy with who I am and who I am becoming.
A new year doesn't erase the past and change all that I am, but it is a new chapter for me to be best version of myself. We can take what has happened to us and allow it to either make us or break us. And I am determined to make it. To take every single wish on my list and make it happen. To make more time for things that are important to me and spend less time on things that are not. Make your happiness a priority and be gentle with yourself in the process.
"Think about where you were last year. Think about the things that use to worry you so much that no longer consume your mind and time; The relationship that wasn't healthy, the stress of what this year could be like, the things you never thought you would accomplish but you did. All of those things are worthy of being grateful for, and are beautiful reminders that after everything that happened, you are going to be okay." - Morgan Nichols
I hope by sharing some things from my personal list, it inspires you to create one for yourself. And to not only create one, but to make it happen as we begin this unknown journey into 2021. As you cross things off, write new experiences down and remember, the only person that can stop you, is you.
A glimpse into Amanda's Bucket List
NYC during Christmas ✔️
NYC on NYE - Officially booked for 2021 🎉
Graduate college
Sing in church
Skydive
Start a blog ✔️
Plant a tree
Visit 9/11 memorial ✔️
Cross country road trip
Make amends
Buy a summer home down south
Visit California ✔️, Oklahoma, The Maldives
Book a family vacation once a year ✔️
Finish big house projects
Here's to 2021 - wishing you peace, happiness, good health and endless blessings ♥
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